Vulnerability vs. Neediness

I find that very often, "vulnerability" is mistaken for "neediness."

Vulnerable: Capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt.

Neediness: The quality of needing attention and affection and reassurance to a marked degree.

One can easily see that they are not the same thing, when faced with such concrete definitions, but we rarely live our lives in the realm of such clear delineation. We live in the emotional, baggage-laden, messy world, a world that often bears little resemblance to the neat and orderly realm of the dictionary.

When you make yourself vulnerable, especially when you consciously choose to make yourself vulnerable, it is often taken as a sign that you need to be protected, taken care of, reassured. We live in a time and place where no one is allowed to simply feel. We take pills, we go to therapists, we spend an inordinate amount of time trying to make other people responsible for what we feel and the aftermath of it.

Don't get me wrong- I'm a big fan of talking. I am a born communicator. I honestly enjoy sitting down with someone and figuring shit out.

But that doesn't mean that that other person becomes responsible for me and my emotions and my vulnerability. I may choose to allow you the weapons to hurt me with, and with that choice, I must take some responsibility for any hurt that ensues.

I have a lot of soft points. I'm vulnerable.

But I'm not needy.