HIPSTER

I got called a hipster this past weekend.

Seriously. This was a serious thing. No irony, no funny business, just straight up: "You are such a hipster."

I laughed.

The giddy little girl in me was giddy and delighted that someone actually thought I was cool enough to be a hipster. I mean, I know it's pejorative and all, but still. Hipsters are cool. The label is pejorative BECAUSE it comes with connotation of cooler-than-thou and trying-too-hard.

I'm cool enough to be cooler than thou! AWESOME.

Then I conducted a (brief, terribly unscientific) Twitter poll, and the results were dispiriting.

By a margin of one to four to one (yes-no-I couldn't determine whether that answer was a yes or a no), I am not actually a hipster.

I'm too earnest to be a hipster, is the general consensus.

I guess that's why Thought Catalog never responds to my submissions. Too much earnestness, not enough snark. Or maybe it's too much earnestness, not enough self-absorption? I dunno about that one. The fact that I even keep this blog speaks to a level of narcissism that I think most people would be supremely uncomfortable with.

Either way, I'm not cool enough for the internets. Also, not cool enough to be a hipster.

Sigh.

Back to the drawing board. New life plan coming down the pike in three, two, one...