On Tuesday, the New York Times published an op-ed written by Angelina Jolie on the subject of her recent pre-emptive double masectomy. And then everyone went nuts. In at least three different ways.
Some of the crazy was entirely predictable and almost too cliche to even mention, except that objectification of women is still a very serious problem, so I'll mention it. Over at Public Shaming, you can get a round up of all the awful people offering condolences to Brad Pitt on the loss of Angelina Jolie's boobs. Do I need to break down why this is wrong? One, it's Jolie's body, not Pitt's. He doesn't actually own her. They're not his boobs. If you're going to offer condolences, offer them to *her.* But (and this is two), maybe think twice about offering condolences at all. Because, you see, Angelina Jolie is not merely a pair of breasts. Honest. There's a whole body attached to those breasts, and a head and a brain and AN ENTIRE PERSON with complex thoughts and feelings and the ability to make choices. She made a choice. She exercised her agency, and lamenting the pieces she lost to retain that life and that agency is pretty despicable.
Just a brief tangent, because I find people that feel like they have the right to hold forth on other women's bodies to be hilarious in their rationalizations for why they get to opine at all: I do wonder what the "Natural Beauty!" criers will have to say. Jolie did elect to have reconstructive surgery after her masectomy. But, like, is that wrong, Natural Beauty Aficionados? She's now got not-natural breasts. Should she not have done that? Or is it ok because she just went back to the way she was? But isn't natural supposed to be totally natural? Oh, right, except for all the false eyelashes cleverly and permanently glued on your eyes and the impossible skin care routine for the dewy-fresh look and 6 hours a day at the gym to tame whatever your natural body shape is into a perfect temple of "Natural" Beauty Male Gaze Aesthetics.
Wait, but now I really do want to know what the Natural Beauty Aficionados have to say. Please, define "natural" for me. Because I'm pretty sure you don't actually mean "However a woman finds herself." Pretty sure without that reconstructive surgery, none of you'd find Jolie attractive anymore. BUT WAIT. Those aren't real, so she's not attractive anymore anyway. CATCH-22. Getting sick means you're a worthless person, right? Yeah, maybe you should just not talk about "what's beautiful." It always backfires, no matter how nice you think you're being because guess what? Beauty isn't everything. So quit making it everything. Just. Shut. Up. Women do not need your validation.
But, there were other kinds of crazy. There was the ubiquitous, seemingly endless stream of commenters that wanted to talk about the fact that most women don't have access to and can't afford even the test for the gene mutation that Jolie found she had, much less the treatment option she chose.
"Can we talk about how most women can't afford to make the same choices she did now?" I feel like I heard 100 times in about an hour. "The choices SHE made." Maybe I'm just projecting, but there seemed to be a petulant quality to the question, a grudge held. But what I don't understand about this is that Jolie up-front and matter-of-factly acknowledged that most women don't have access to the gene test. And she said we have to do better.
So, yes, guys: We can talk about this. LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT. Jolie kick-started that conversation for us! Someone pat that woman on the back! I get that she's pretty and rich and a celebrity and so that makes it really hard to give her credit for anything because everything is just so easy for rich, pretty celebrities, but the woman has spent three month having her breasts removed and reconstructed because there was an 87% chance she would develop breast cancer (which she watched her mother die from) and maybe, JUST MAYBE, we could cut her a little slack and give her credit for proactively managing her health, being open about her decisions and what they mean to her, AND ALSO advocating for every woman to have the same access to healthcare she does as a result of being rich (and pretty and a celebrity)?
It can't be that hard. I know everyone wants to hate rich, pretty people. But even rich, pretty people are just people. So maybe try to contain your jealousy and treat her like a person? Just a thought. Maybe you could try it.
But maybe my favorite bit of insidious, awful misogyny that got flayed out there in the world for everyone to see were the "This is such a distraction!" people.
A conversation about the things that we value women for, the inequities of the healthcare system in the US, and a discussion of the fact that human genes inside of human bodies are patented is a "distraction?" Fucking really? Private corporations are patenting our genetic material and barring us from access to life-saving information, and now there's a floodlight on that, and still this is a "distraction?" Look, I get that maybe none of these issues are your pet issues. We all have the things we care about more than other things, even broad-spectrum activists. I, for example, rarely blog about things that aren't related to feminism or compassion. But I still pay attention to other things, even ones I have only a tenuous grasp on. I still think they're important. I don't call them "distraction" when they push my pet issues to the background for a day or two. I lend my tiny voice to support them and the people that know about them.
Try returning the favor. I don't know why you would be so dismissive of a woman's lived experience, and the actual life-or-death choices that is healthcare in our country. I don't know why you'd be so dismissive of a spotlight on the reality of corporate power, patent law, and blocking the free-flow of information. I suspect it's because you don't like Angelina Jolie, or you don't like celebrity culture, and that's fine. But *this* is still not a distraction. It's a serious conversation that Jolie graciously started for us by sharing a series of experiences that she took great pains to hide from prying eyes while they were happening because they were PAINFUL, both physically and emotionally. That's an act of generosity that you could try to respect. At least a little. At least enough to keep your mouth shut if you have nothing nice to say.
Check your biases, world. And think about why you're heaping so much hate on a woman that's doing her best to navigate between her privilege and her life. Maybe you don't agree with all her choices, but they're still hers to make, and she's not doing a horrible job of it.
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