But I believe words have power. However, for me, this power is only potent when the words are said. They have to be out there, in the world, floating in the collective unconscious. They can't just be kicking around in my head. They can't just be in my unconscious.
Words in my head aren't yet words, you see. Words in my head are only thoughts. They are only the first stirrings of an idea, an action, a plan. To be put down, said out loud or committed to text is a sort of birthing process for the idea embedded in the words. Only after birth is the thought, the emotion, the idea REAL.
So sometimes I say things I don't mean. I attempt to only put forth the words that I can stand behind, but sometimes, an idea has to be tried out, to find out if it's true or false, real or imagined, good or bad.
Because something is only real after it's said. And in my head, I can't know how wrong something is. In my head, chasing around my own brain, I can convince myself of anything. I could convince myself the sky is orange if I really wanted to, if I did it all in my head. If I never said anything out loud.
Those things that turn out to be wrong, imagined, bad- they are the things I regret saying.
And I've said a few such things.
But I can know that they're wrong. I can know that I've moved forward from them, beyond them, to a better realm where I'm a better person and things are better.
I've moved forward. I won't go back. Not that I couldn't, but that I would not. I don't want what's back there anymore; I want what's in front of me. I want to keep moving forward.
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